Lauren was recently interviewed by the Wall Street Journal about how being alone can turn into an experience of loneliness.
To read the article, click here.
Each of us comes into this world as a whole, integrated human being. We’re born with innate personality traits, natural strengths and talents, and tremendous potential. Growing up, we respond to our life conditioning by adopting habitual roles, beliefs, and behaviors that often diminish our potential. These patterns follow us into adulthood, and they shape our feelings about ourselves, our personal lives, our relationships, and our careers.
A foundational element of my work is to help people uncover the patterns that keep a lid on their potential, identify the roots of these patterns, and take action to transform them. This involves identifying the innate personality traits, strengths, and potential of their Authentic Self (the person they were born to be) and the limiting role, beliefs, and behaviors of their Conditioned Self (the person they learned to be).
The next step is to develop strategies for change. This entails learning how to think and act by conscious deliberation versus by automatic default. Living by deliberation means intentionally aligning your thoughts, behaviors, and choices with the outcomes you’re trying to achieve. When you’re living by default, you’re reacting on autopilot from old, conditioned patterns. And while those patterns may have served you in your environment growing up, they’re usually not very effective in producing the results you want as an adult.
Letting your Conditioned Self run your life is like continuously swimming upstream. It depletes your energy, stifles your strengths, keeps you settling for less than what you’re capable of creating, and undermines your relationships with others. Over time, the chronic stress it produces can even weaken your immune system and compromise your physical health and well-being.
Shedding the shackles of your life conditioning and liberating who you really are is a life-changing process. Instead of your energy being consumed by trying to be perfect, berating yourself, living up to other’s expectations, avoiding failure, dealing with conflict, numbing your pain, or managing fear, it’s available to let you discover what you enjoy, take new risks, pursue your dreams, share positive relationships, and create the personal and professional life to which you aspire.
This type of inner work—delving into the roots of your limiting patterns and taking action to produce tangible, lasting change—can be challenging, uncomfortable, and even painful. But the years that I’ve been doing this work—and the transformative results I’ve seen over and over again—has taught me two very important things: the only way out is through and the rewards are well-worth the journey.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE? You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:
© 2013 Lauren Mackler
Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach and author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. www.laurenmackler.com
SOLEMATE: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a “soul mate” to make them feel complete. Others settle for difficult or unfulfilling or relationships out of fear of being alone.
Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, this powerful workshop takes you on a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re living your life on your own or in a relationship.
For more information and registration, click here!
Solemate: Mastering the Art of Aloneness
Presented by: Lauren Mackler
Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a “soul mate” to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, this experiential workshop takes you on a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, joy, and well-being—whether you’re living your life on your own or in a relationship.
Using experiential exercises, visualizations, journaling, and interactive discussions, this groundbreaking experience with world-renowned coach Lauren Mackler will inspire you to “become the partner you seek.”
You’ll learn how to:
• Move beyond fear and limiting beliefs and behaviors
• Reclaim your innate wholeness
• Build a loving relationship with your self
• Clarify your Life Vision and the steps to achieve it
Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach, psychotherapist, and author of international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. laurenmackler.com
TUITION: $495 CDN (meals & accommodation extra) / 4 nights
For more information and registration, please click here.
Boston, May 11, 2013 – 10am-11:30am
Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Renowned coach, radio host, and bestselling author of “Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life”, Lauren Mackler, presents her groundbreaking roadmap to achieve mastery of your own life, and greater wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship.
For more information and registration, click here!
I BELIEVE by Eldon Taylor
Last year, NY Times best selling author Eldon Taylor released his wonderful book, I Believe. This gem shows you how to access the controller within that dictates success or failure in every aspect of your life. The strength of this solution is literally coded in your mind. Soon after its release, I Believe quickly became a bestseller. This book is both inspiring and transformative. If you haven’t read it yet, I highly recommend that you do! If you order it today, you’ll receive free gifts from me and many other leading authors. To order, click here.
April 12–14, 2013 Friday–Sunday
Weekend Workshop at Esalen in Big Sur, CA
With Lauren Mackler
“Solemate…is learning to be present with yourself—to know yourself intimately and deeply—is necessary for an authentic relationship of any kind.” -Joan Borysenko, Author of “Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive”
Each of us comes into the world as a whole human being with tremendous potential. Growing up, we adopt habitual thought and behavior patterns, many of which erode our innate wholeness. We carry these patterns into adulthood, and they shape our feelings about ourselves, our relationships, our personal lives, and our careers. Mastering the Art of Aloneness is designed to help you break free of the shackles of your life conditioning, reclaim your innate wholeness, and become who you were born to be. Created by Lauren Mackler, bestselling author of Solemate, this experiential workshop provides practical tools to help you:
*Move beyond fear and transform limiting beliefs and behaviors
*Reclaim your innate wholeness
*Build a loving relationship with yourself
*Design your Life Vision and the steps to achieve it
This workshop is designed for people who are single, divorced, or in a partnership, and who aspire to a greater sense of wholeness, self-mastery, and well-being in their relationship with themselves and with others.
Lauren Mackler is a renowned coach and teacher whose first book, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life, became an instant international best-seller. Creator of the Illumineering Coaching method, she has inspired people across the globe to transform their lives. Lauren brings her wisdom and workshops to audiences throughout the world, and her work has been covered widely in the media, including CNN, Fox, NPR, Wall Street Journal, Forbes, Whole Living, Real Simple, and many other media. www.laurenmackler.com
For more information and registration, click here!
AOMUSIC is a pan-cultural world/new age musical group, known for an exotic blend of ethnic texture, rhythmic energy and ambient harmony. Their compositions employ melodic refrains sung by Miriam Stockley (the voice of Karl Jenkins’ Adiemus project) and children’s choral ensembles from around the globe. Song lyrics are typically sung in a mixture of ancient languages or made-up phonetics, so as not to pay allegiance to a particular ethnicity; thereby lending to a more universal impression.
Each song is composed, produced and performed by three well established recording artists; founder Richard Gannaway, Miriam Stockley and Jay Oliver. The group self-produces albums on their own indie label Arcturian Gate (established in 1994). They produce the sound using a blend of live acoustic instruments and digital samples that cover a broad range of world indigeny mixed with contemporary elements. The music is joyous and transformative and AO’s mission is inspiring. To listen to this gorgeous music and learn more about AOMusic, click here.
Are you ready to take the lid off your potential? We’re all born with unique personalities, passions, gifts, and strengths. As we grow up, our innate potential is diminished by fear, shame, anger, unworthiness, perfectionism, and other self-defeating patterns.
Imagine your life if you could step out from behind your “mask“ and fully become the person you were born to be. What if you could reclaim your magnificence, liberate your potential, and ignite that potential in every part of your life?
Using exercises, visualizations, journaling, and short lectures, world-renowned coach and best-selling author Lauren Mackler guides you through a life-changing weekend in which you learn to:
*Unearth and transform self-sabotaging patterns
*Use your intuition as a practical life barometer
*Reconnect to your passions, strengths, and purpose
*Empower your Authentic Self to take control of your life
*Live boldly to achieve your dreams and goals
For information and registration click here!
Carl Jung, a colleague of Sigmund Freud and the founder of analytical psychology, first introduced the concept of psychological type in the 1920s with the idea that there are two basic attitude types—extroverts and introverts—and what he called the four functions of consciousness: thinking, feeling, sensing, and intuiting. Jung was the first to fully develop the idea that different people have different ways of perceiving and approaching the world, and that these differences are innate. For example, one person may use thought as a guide to making decisions, while another will follow their feelings. By identifying different psychological types, Jung laid the foundation for our modern-day understanding of personality.
Like Jung, I believe that we all have innate personality traits and temperaments. Most parents will tell you that they can identify traits in their own children from birth—distinct temperaments and predispositions. Some toddlers, for example, are quiet and still, hanging back, observing everything around them. Others jump into the fray feet first, full of energy and enthusiasm. However, research on twins reared apart, conducted over the past 30 years at the Minnesota Center for Twin and Family Research (University of Minnesota) by professor Thomas J. Bouchard, Jr. and his team, provides perhaps the most powerful evidence of innate personalities. In research originally published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology in 1988 and discussed at length in a New Yorker piece published in 1995, the Minnesota team assessed twin pairs for personality characteristics such as a “sense of well-being, social dominance, alienation, aggression, and achievement . . . They concluded that identical twins reared apart were as much alike as identicals reared together.” The Minnesota twin studies, combined with a slew of other studies conducted over the past two decades, provide ample evidence that we are born with certain personality characteristics.
Part of retrieving your authentic self involves identifying your innate personality traits, the characteristics you were born with that may have been suppressed through your life conditioning. For example, you may be more innately extroverted—more outwardly than inwardly directed. But say you grew up with a father who was an alcoholic and he’d fly into rages when he was drinking. Your coping mechanism may have involved staying below the radar screen and not making a peep. You withdrew from the world, a characteristic that’s in conflict with your true nature. In my coaching work, as part of the process of identifying clients’ innate personality characteristics, I use the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI), a popular personality test developed by Katharine Cook Briggs and Isabel Briggs Myers in the 1940s based on Carl Jung’s theories. Since its inception, millions of people have taken the MBTI assessment, and it’s been updated and refined through ongoing research. The results are remarkably comprehensive and illuminating. But while the MBTI tool is valuable for helping people understand their innate natures, it is only one piece of the puzzle.
Unearthing your authentic self also involves identifying your true passions and strengths, as well as your interests and life purpose. I believe that we all have an inborn purpose, and fulfilling that purpose is critical to the quality of our lives and our sense of well-being. To be able to live from your authentic self you have to first know who you really are. What do you feel strongly about? What captures your interest? What inspires and motivates you? What is the contribution you’d like to be making in the world?
The process of retrieving and liberating the authentic self involves a good bit of detective work. Each of us is unique, and the formula for finding that uniqueness can be as individual as we are. But achieving that understanding can be transformational. As D. H. Lawrence wrote, “You’ve got to know yourself so that you can at last be yourself.”
Are you ready to liberate who you were born to be? Join Lauren 3/15-17, 2013 at Kripalu in Lenox, MA for the LIVE BOLDLY & LIBERATE YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF weekend workshop! For info and registration, click here.
WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:
© 2013 Lauren Mackler
Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach, psychotherapist, and author of the international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. Sign up for her free Live Boldly e-newsletter at www.laurenmackler.com.