LIVE BOLDLY

Battling Job Dissatisfaction

Posted by Lauren - 03/09/12 at 10:03:34 am

Are you more unhappy than happy at work? If so, you’re not alone. According to a study by the Conference Board, more than half of Americans are dissatisfied with their jobs. This is the lowest level ever recorded by the Conference Board in more than 22 years of studying job satisfaction.

Research by Lancaster University found that people with low job satisfaction experienced more emotional burnout, reduced self-esteem, anxiety, and depression—all of which, when chronically experienced, can weaken the immune system and increase the risk of physical illness. Emotional and physical costs are not the only price of job dissatisfaction. Lancaster’s study showed that depression and anxiety are the most common reasons that people claim long-term sickness benefits.

If so many people experience dissatisfaction, what holds them back from pursuing work that’s more fulfilling? In my many years of coaching—which include both good and bad economic times—the majority of clients identify fear as the number one barrier to making a major life change, including pursuing a new job or their own business. Some of the most common fears include:

Failure (not being good enough)
Financial destitution
Inability to meet family obligations
Loss of image and prestige
Inability to find a new job
No one will want their product or service
Others’ disapproval or perception of them as selfish
Inability to generate their current level of income

While the shrunken job market is a current reality, many of people’s fears are exacerbated by self-limiting beliefs that cause them to ruminate on worst-case scenarios at the prospect of any type of life change. These learned patterns are very powerful. In fact, for many people, they are the number one driver of the choices they make and the results they produce. And yet, because most people are not even aware of them, they remain powerless to free themselves from their paralyzing grip.

With the right resources and an effective process, clarifying your ideal work—and developing an action plan for bringing it to fruition—is the easiest part. For most people, what presents the greatest challenge is overriding the self-limiting, habitual patterns that career transition books typically fail to cover, and which most career counselors and coaches lack the psychological training to effectively address.

Yet another factor that keeps people stuck in dissatisfying jobs is failure to align all parts of themselves with their new career or business vision. Each of us is a complex being with many different parts, each of which has its own needs, feelings, and agendas. For example, there may be a part of you that places a high value on a steady paycheck and another part that longs for the freedom of having your own business. There may be a part that’s highly career driven, and another part that wants to work part-time (or not at all) to spend more time with your child. Not only do these different parts create a lot of internal conflict and stress, fighting a continuous inner battle consumes your precious life energy and keeps you stuck in your status quo.

Just as it’s critical to get all members of a team to work collaboratively toward a shared goal, an important component to making a successful transition into a job or business you love is to work with the different parts of you to achieve inner cohesion. Take time to identify the various parts, explore each one’s needs and concerns, and develop an effective game plan to resolve inner conflicts. Creating inner alignment will help you to harness your energy and move into action to create the professional life to which you aspire.

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© 2012 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach and author of the international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. To sign up for her free Live Boldly e-newsletter, click here.

Celebrate Your Self!

Posted by Lauren - 02/10/12 at 11:02:31 am

Flowers and chocolate are just lovely on Valentine’s Day if you have a Valentine. If you don’t, it can be just down right depressing. Lauren Mackler, coach, psychotherapist & best-selling author of “Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life,” was recently interviewed on FOX about Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to celebrate your relationship with your self.

Alone This Valentine’s Day?

Posted by Lauren - 02/09/12 at 12:02:28 pm

If you’re going to be alone on Valentine’s Day, catch my television interview tomorrow, 2/10, on FOX at 9:45am for some great celebration tips!

WANT GREATER WHOLENESS?

Posted by Lauren - 02/05/12 at 06:02:27 am

SOLEMATE WEEKEND WORKSHOP!
3/16-18, 2012 at Kripalu
Lenox, MA

Are you ready to gain mastery over your own life? Many people spend years waiting for a “soul mate” to make them feel complete. Others settle for difficult or unfulfilling or relationships out of fear of being alone. Instead of depending on someone else to make you whole, this workshop takes you on a life-changing journey to greater self-mastery, empowerment, and well-being—whether you’re living your life on your own or in a relationship. For more info or to register, click here.

The Art of Resilience

Posted by Lauren - 01/19/12 at 05:01:08 pm

Do you sweat the small stuff or feel chronically stressed? If so, you’re not alone. According to a 2008 national survey by the American Psychological Association (APA), 77 percent of Americans reported having physical symptoms due to stress, and 73 percent claimed to be experiencing stress-related psychological problems.  

Stress is an emotional and physical reaction caused by our responses to life challenges. There is no universally accepted definition of stress and each person reacts differently, based on their innate personality traits, early conditioning, and life experiences. What is overwhelming for one person may be exciting to another, while that same situation may have little impact on someone else.

In small amounts, stress can be a positive impetus. It can inspire productivity and motivate you to complete your goals. But chronic stress can have many adverse effects, including irritability, depression, headaches, gastrointestinal problems, sexual dysfunction, substance abuse, depletion of the immune system, and even life-threatening illness.

The best antidote to stress is resilience. Resilience means having the ability to respond to change or adversity proactively and resourcefully. It involves a process of consciously drawing on the beliefs, behaviors, and skills that can help you respond to challenges effectively, and move beyond them as a stronger person.

Findings from the Kauai Longitudinal Study showed that resilient people did not passively react to negative life circumstances, but proactively took action to achieve positive outcomes. Instead of staying stuck in feelings of anger, fear, or anxiety, step back and ask yourself, “What reaction am I having, how do I want to respond, and what outcomes do I want?” Next, brainstorm possible courses of action, determine those most likely to produce desired outcomes, prioritize your action steps, then move into action.   

Below are some additional tips to develop greater resilience and to help you manage stress. 
 
Reframe change from a threat to a natural part of life. Instead of resisting change, embrace it as a natural progression of life. Every time you find yourself holding on to what was, say to yourself, “I release the past, cooperate fully with today, and enthusiastically embrace tomorrow.” The foundation of resilience is accepting change as an inevitable part of life. Fighting it not only produces frustration, but it keeps you from taking action and moving forward. 

Identify the opportunities inherent in the challenge. There is much truth in the old adage of what does not kill us makes us stronger. To help you turn a stressor into an opportunity, write down the specific situation causing you to feel stressed. For example, “I’m worried I’m going to lose my job.” Next, write down how you can turn your concern into an opportunity. For example, you could get your resume updated and start networking to find that fulfilling job you’ve been dreaming about for the last two years.        

Develop greater awareness and self-mastery. The more awareness and self-mastery you have, the greater your resilience. Personal development has many benefits, one of which is gaining greater clarity about your reactive patterns and how they may be negatively impacting your life. Finding good resources to change habitual, limiting patterns will not only transform your life, but it will provide you with effective life skills to draw upon in difficult times.

Build a strong inner support system. Despite the deluge of information about the link between diet and health, most people don’t actively embrace that they are what they eat. Your body runs on fuel in the form of food, and if the fuel you put in your body is not healthy, you can’t expect your body to produce optimal wellness. A diet low in nutrients can deplete your reserves of vitamins and minerals, making it even more difficult to manage stress. Reduce or eliminate caffeine, sugar, and alcohol, and replace fatty meats and processed foods with fresh fruit, vegetables, whole grains, lean meat and fish, nuts, seeds, and legumes. 

Change is part of the human condition and no one is exempt from emotional pain and adversity. Developing resilience is a critical key to not only accepting and meeting a life challenge head on, but being able to get to the other side of it with greater wisdom and strength.

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2012 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach and author of the international bestseller Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. Sign up for her free Live Boldly e-newsletter at www.laurenmackler.com.

Cooperate with What is

Posted by Lauren - 01/19/12 at 01:01:25 pm

I release the past, cooperate fully with today, and enthusiastically embrace tomorrow.

LIVING FEARLESSLY 1/21/11 Cambridge, MA

Posted by Lauren - 01/16/12 at 08:01:30 pm

LIVING FEARLESSLY Presentation & Book Signing

World-renowned coach and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, presents LIVING FEARLESSLY in Cambridge 1/21/12 from 10am-11:30am. For info and registration, click here.

Resilience

Posted by Lauren - 01/11/12 at 10:01:07 am

Resilience is accepting those things that are beyond your control and turning adversities into opportunities to strengthen and grow.

Lauren Recommends: Self-Growth.com

Posted by Lauren - 01/04/12 at 01:01:37 pm

SelfGrowth.com is a complete guide to information about Self -Improvement, Personal Growth and Self Help on the Internet. It is designed to be an organized directory, with articles and references to thousands of other Web Sites on the World Wide Web. Check it out. It has LOTS of great information for transforming your life! To view, click here.

 

Live Boldly! 1/28/12 Event

Posted by Lauren - 12/06/11 at 07:12:58 am

I’ll be presenting LIVE BOLDLY! BECOMING WHO YOU WERE BORN TO BE 1/28 at the 1/28-29, 2012 Be Healthy Boston Conference in Boston. I’ll be speaking with Martha Stewart Radio Host Terri Trespicio, Domar Mind/Body Center Director Hilary Wright, and many more great speakers. For info & registration click here.

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