LIVE BOLDLY

Life Keys: 11/5 – Sweet Surrender: The Art of Letting Go

Posted by Lauren - 10/30/09 at 12:10:12 pm

Do you co-operate with “what is”, or do you habitually resist and fight the world around you? In this empowering episode, Lauren talks about the freedom of accepting things that are beyond your control, and how the art of “surrender” can be a pathway to greater health, joy, and well-being.  

Tune in to Life Keys on Thursday @ 1pm (EST)

www.hayhouseradio.com

Call us toll-free in the US and Canada by dialing 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

Solemate Review on SingleWomenRule.com

Posted by Lauren - 10/30/09 at 09:10:08 am

Finding your sole mate
By Keysha Whitaker
October 26, 2009

You are your sole mate.  If you didn’t know this, you’ll quickly figure it out after reading Lauren Mackler’s book, Solemate, Master the Art of Aloneness and Transform Your Life.   Solemate is a journey that begins with deconstructing negative ideas of aloneness (many people still think alone means unhappy and unloved) and ends with mastering aloneness, which Mackler says “is about changing your habitual patterns of behavior”.  Along the way, if you’re committed, you’ll discover your authentic self, a self that does not expect a mate to complete them.

Mackler’s writing style is clear and quick.  Solemate, written for men and women, is one-part memoir, one-part clinical study, one-part self-help.  Mackler, a coach and psychotherapist, opens with the beginning – and end – of her “storybook marriage” to a successful German physician:   “It was only years later, through my personal development work, that I recognized the underlying problem: we had come together for all the wrong reasons.  We had been drawn to each other because of voids within ourselves . . .  Click here to read the entire review.

Life Keys: 10/29 – Building Your Outer Support System

Posted by Lauren - 10/27/09 at 01:10:41 pm

Part of practicing good self-care is building a solid outer support system. Tune in to learn practical tips and tools for building a strong outer support system of people, environments, and resources that can help you stay replenished and healthy, and will support you in achieving your life vision.  

Tune in to Life Keys on Thursday @ 1pm (EST)

www.hayhouseradio.com

Call us toll-free in the US and Canada by dialing 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

Jon & Kate Gosselin: Healing the Wounds of Divorce

Posted by Lauren - 10/27/09 at 12:10:28 pm

In a CNN interview a couple of weeks ago, I was asked what the next steps should be for estranged reality TV couple Kate and Jon Gosselin, who are engaged in a contentious divorce. Although the Gosselins are unique in that they are the parents of 8 children, their bitter divorce is not unusual. Nearly 50% of all marriages end in divorce, many of which are as acrimonious as the Gosselins’. My recent interview below addresses why many marriages fall apart, and how to stop the destructive patterns that turn relationships into battlefields.

What causes a relationship to deteriorate to the point of a separation or divorce?
The things that draw people together in a relationship are the same ones that drive them apart. People typically fall in love with partners who have the qualities they lack in themselves—their opposite—in an unconscious quest to feel complete. While they’re initially enamored by those differences, over time, they often become points of conflict and disdain. And since most people lack good communication and conflict management skills, the real issues never get addressed. Over time, resentment builds, trust is eroded, and the relationship becomes a constant battlefield.

It’s one thing not to get along, but in many relationships, things become downright ugly. What causes such intense anger and bitterness?
Intimate relationships tend to invoke our deepest wounds. We’re all the product of our life conditioning. And since most people come from families with some level of dysfunction, most of us carry emotional pain and dysfunctional patterns into our relationships. Many of these patterns are like viruses, infecting our self-esteem, our lives, and our relationships. Those closest to us know exactly how to invoke our deepest wounds, which is why people react so badly in the midst of divorce. They think it’s the other person who’s causing their pain, when, in fact, they’re both replicating the dysfunctional patterns learned in childhood in their own marriage.

How can people stop the cycle of anger and destructive behavior in the midst of a separation or divorce?
When a relationship deteriorates to the point where the partners become what I call “intimate enemies”, the best approach is to find a professional who can help them cut through the symptoms of their issues—which are often disguised as anger, resentment, jealousy, or infidelity—and  address the root causes of their problems. This is especially important when there are children involved, because they still have to interact as parents. Regardless of whether the couple stays together or divorces, the only way they can co-parent in an amicable and constructive manner is for them to become aware of the dysfunctional patterns they each brought into the relationship. Once they’ve identified what they are, they need to do the personal-development work needed to change them. If the destructive behavior continues, it will inevitably cause deep emotional and psychological damage to their children, and the legacy of dysfunction will pass on to the next generation.

© 2009 Lauren Mackler

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE, BLOG, OR WEB SITE?
You can, as long as you include this complete statement at the end of the article:

© 2009 Lauren Mackler

Lauren Mackler is a coach, psychotherapist, and host of the Life Keys radio show on hayhouseradio.com. She’s the author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. Sign up for her Live Boldly newsletter at www.laurenmackler.com.This article also appeared on the following web sites.

Huffington Post
Basil and Spice
Chicago Sun Times

Are You Estranged from a Family Member?

Posted by Lauren - 10/22/09 at 12:10:29 pm

A national news television show is doing a segment about me working with estranged family members, and is looking for 2 estranged family members who would like to repair their relationship. It can be a couple, a parent and child (20s+), or siblings. The estranged pair will spend 3 days working with me on air at no cost to them. I will use my Illumineering method—which integrates family systems work, psychodynamic psychology, and coaching—to help them identify and address the root causes of the issues that led to the estrangement, and concrete actions they can take to build and sustain a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with each other. If you or someone you know is estranged with a family member and is interested in being part of this groundbreaking segment, please send an email to info@laurenmackler.com.

Life Keys: 10/22 – Building Your Inner Support System

Posted by Lauren - 10/20/09 at 01:10:37 pm

Do you practice good self-care to keep yourself renewed or are you always “running on empty”? Tune in to learn how to build a strong inner support system that generates the health, energy, and inspiration you need, so you can create and live the life to which you aspire.

Tune in to Life Keys on Thursday @ 1pm (EST)

www.hayhouseradio.com

Call us toll-free in the US and Canada by dialing 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

Lauren’s Interview on CNN – 10/13/09

Posted by Lauren - 10/14/09 at 12:10:57 pm

Watch Lauren’s latest interview on CNN.

Lauren’s article on Love in the Huffington Post

Posted by Lauren - 10/14/09 at 08:10:19 am

Carl Jung wrote that “…it is the strength of the bond to the parents that unconsciously influences the choice of husband or wife, either positively or negatively.” As my own divorce drama unfolded, it became clear that there were deeper issues between my husband and me than appeared on the surface. As I explored Jung’s premise that who we choose as partners is greatly influenced by our past experiences with our parents, I realized the tremendous influence our upbringing has on our adult relationships.

Romantic love has been studied from several perspectives, resulting in a deeper understanding of human relationships. Three popular perspectives include the bio-logic, social-exchange, and persona theories…

Click here to read the entire article.

Lauren Recommends: New Release Books

Posted by Lauren - 10/13/09 at 01:10:58 pm

 Here are some fabulous new books that I highly recommend!

The Vortex
By Esther and Jerry HicksRelationships are an active part of your experience—everything you perceive, notice, or know is because of your relationship with something else. In their new book, The Vortex: Where the Law of Attraction Assembles All Cooperative Relationships, New York Times best-selling authors Esther and Jerry Hicks will help you understand the relationships you’re currently involved in, as well as every relationship you’ve ever experienced. Order The Vortex and learn how to achieve the harmony you desire in all of your relationships. You can also enter to win a trip to see Esther and Jerry Hicks LIVE!

 

Love Yourself
By Lawrence Crane

Larry has spent the past 30 years helping people achieve their greatest potential by harnessing the incredible success-attraction power of love. With simplicity and conviction, Larry shares his proven principles and strategies that are both stunning and transformative. In fact, Larry promises that if you follow his process, you’ll see changes in all areas of your life—your relationships, your attitude, your health, even your bank account—in a matter of days!

 

 

 

Defy Gravity: Healing Beyond the Bounds of Reason
By Caroline Myss

New York Times best-selling author Caroline Myss draws from her years as a medical intuitive to show that healing is not only physical; it is also a mystical phenomenon that transcends reason. In Defy Gravity: Healing Beyond the Bounds of Reason, Caroline introduces a model of healing that explores the relationship between our seven shadow passions and our seven inner graces. This knowledge holds the key to understanding what it means to defy gravity and break through the boundaries of ordinary thought where you can heal any illness, channel grace, and live fearlessly. Also, when you purchase Defy Gravity today, you will receive a free 2-hour exclusive Seminar download by Caroline Myss.

Life Keys: 10/15 – Midlife Crisis: Misunderstood & Mistreated

Posted by Lauren - 10/13/09 at 12:10:23 pm

Midlife can be an exciting life chapter—or a time of confusion, disappointment, and full-blown crisis. Tune in to hear Lauren discuss why midlife is one of the most misunderstood life stages, and how to turn the challenges of midlife into new opportunities for greater reflection, freedom, and self-expression.

Tune in to Life Keys on Thursday @ 1pm (EST)
www.hayhouseradio.com

Call us toll-free in the US and Canada by dialing 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.

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