Solemate at Boston Center for Adult Education: 3/13/10
Posted by Lauren - 02/15/10 at 09:02:45 amMany people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Renowned coach, radio host, and bestselling author of “Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life” Lauren Mackler will present her groundbreaking roadmap to help you achieve mastery of your own life, so you can experience a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship. Based upon Lauren’s “Solemate” book, this presentation is about treating yourself well, shedding your self-defeating patterns, and becoming the person you were born to be.
March 13, 2010
10:00am – 12:00pm
Boston Center for Adult Education
122 Arlington Street
Boston, MA 02116
617.267.4430
Click here for more information.
Life Keys – 2/18/10: Defining Moments
Posted by Lauren - 02/15/10 at 09:02:19 am
Have you ever had an experience or “defining moment” that forever changed your life in a positive way? In this inspiring episode, join Lauren, her guests, and callers as they share their own defining moments, and how those experiences transformed their personal and professional lives.
Tune in to Life Keys on Thursday @ 1pm (EST)
Call us toll-free in the US and Canada by dialing 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.
Are You Addicted to ‘Gloom and Doom’?
Posted by Lauren - 02/12/10 at 01:02:29 pmHow affirmations really work.
Chronic negative thinking and the emotions it invokes is, like many destructive behaviors, a form of addiction.
An old acquaintance of mine recently wrote an article about positive thinking—a subject that is often misunderstood. For many years I, like many people on the personal-development path, believed that by writing down and repeating positive affirmations (positive statements about yourself or your life, written in the present tense as if they were already true), I would think more positively and the changes I sought in myself and in my life would happen automatically. I hung these inspiring statements up all over my house, memorized them, and repeated them out loud, sometimes as much as 100 times a day. But it seemed that no matter how many times I said them, the changes I hoped to achieve continued to elude me.
It would be nearly 20 years before I finally realized that while affirmations are a powerful tool for clarifying and focusing on what you want, positive action is also required to achieve it. Positive action generates positive thinking, which generates more positive action and positive thinking. Positive action and thinking are a choice, a choice that can be challenging, especially for people who have experienced much suffering and pain in their lives—but it’s still a choice.
For example, you feel lonely and sad, but instead of isolating yourself, you do something positive. Maybe you attend a cooking class, volunteer at a soup kitchen, or go out for a run—something that refocuses your thoughts and produces a more positive experience rather than sitting home alone eating cookies and feeling sorry for yourself.
Chronic negative thinking and the emotions it invokes is, like many destructive behaviors, a form of addiction. People become addicted to habitual, “gloom and doom” thoughts, as well as to the emotions they produce—such as fear and anger. It becomes their comfort zone—it may not be very pleasant, but it’s familiar.
To break this self-defeating addiction, you have to first understand its roots (almost always found in your life conditioning), and consciously change your behaviors and actions to ones that create more positive results. Over time, you’ll build a string of positive experiences that solidifies a new internal reference point and makes a positive mindset in your new habitual way of thinking.
7 Steps To Healthier Relationships
Posted by Lauren - 02/11/10 at 11:02:26 am
Healthy relationships are critical to our well-being, yet many people never learned the skills to cultivate them. Not all people have what it takes to be supportive, and not all unsupportive people can be avoided–for example, family members and co-workers. But the idea is to identify the qualities that support you, spend time with people who demonstrate those qualities, and, as much as possible, avoid people who are detrimental to your well-being.
There are many ways to cultivate healthy relationships, the first of which is to become a supportive friend to others. Below are qualities and behaviors that foster positive relationships that you can develop within yourself and seek out in others.
Be a good sounding board. When a friend wants to talk to you about something he’s going through, the best approach is simply to listen. Don’t offer advice without asking permission, because it may be… Click here to read the entire article.
Valentine’s Day, Not Just for Romance Anymore: Girls Night Ideas for February 14: Examiner.com
Posted by Lauren - 02/10/10 at 09:02:53 amRead this article on Examiner.com by Jordan Salvatoriello
Ahh, Valentine’s Day. It can be the bee’s knees for star-crossed sweethearts, a qualmy conundrum for the newly twitterpated, or a day of dread for the singleton Scrooge. But, be careful Miss Lonely Heart, stare long enough into that abyss and the abyss stares back at you (xoxo, Nietzsche). So trash your “anti” Valentine’s Day notions, and let Hallmark know who’s boss by seizing the holiday and making it your own. After all, there is plenty of love in your life, no? Buy your own damn box of chocolates, gather your team around you, and celebrate the annual day of love with those that have given so much of it to you. Here are some ideas and local events to consider, so start planning now!
- Host a “self-celebration” Valentine’s Day potluck: Forgo the pity party, and celebrate yourself instead. Potlucks are easy to organize and a great way to unify a group of friends over a communal experience. “Ask each guest to bring their own favorite food dish and a wrapped gift to give to themselves,” said Lauren Mackler, author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. Go on. Be good… Click here to read the entire article.
Alone on February 14?
Posted by Lauren - 02/10/10 at 08:02:58 amValentine’s Day is, for many singles, a holiday to dread instead of one to celebrate. I experienced my own loneliness on more than one Valentine’s Day. Then, several years ago, I had a revelation. I could be my own Valentine!
I know, being your own Valentine might sound like a desperate attempt to soothe the sting of single life. I thought so, too—until I actually experienced it. The first year of becoming my own Valentine, I organized a dinner at a nice restaurant for a group of single men and women. On the invitation I wrote a request: “buy, have gift-wrapped, and bring to dinner a gift for yourself in recognition of the magnificent person you are.”
It was one of my favorite Valentine’s Day celebrations! We took turns opening our gifts and sharing what we admired about ourselves. Some people were moved to tears, as they realized … Click here to read the entire article on HealYourLife.com.
Life Keys – 2/11/10: Becoming Your Own Valentine
Posted by Lauren - 02/08/10 at 09:02:53 am
Over 95 million Americans are unmarried, yet many singles feel isolated, bad, and lonely—especially on Valentine’s Day, a celebration traditionally reserved for lovers. In this uplifting segment, Lauren shares how to “become your own Valentine”, using the holiday as an opportunity to appreciate and celebrate yourself!
Tune in to Life Keys on Thursday @ 1pm (EST)
www.hayhouseradio.com
Call us toll-free in the US and Canada by dialing 866-254-1579. International callers can dial the country code then 760-918-4300.
Trouble Pleasing Your Partner? Lauren on QualityHealth.com
Posted by Lauren - 02/05/10 at 10:02:36 amRead this article on QualityHealth.com.
Trouble Pleasing Your Partner?
By Rosemary Black
It’s an all-too-common scenario: A spouse feels overworked, underappreciated and overwhelmed with a job, household and kids to care for. Resentment and exhaustion take their toll, and she feels less and less like having sex. With a busy life, there just isn’t time for everything, let alone having an all night lovefest.
The problem can snowball into a relationship-wrecking issue. “The wife feels bad about herself,” says Lauren Mackler, psychotherapist and the author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. “The man feels that he is not appreciated for what he is doing, and he just gets flack if he comes home too late or works too many hours. He feels… Click here to read entire article.
Living Fearlessly at Boston Center for Adult Education: 4/10/10
Posted by Lauren - 02/05/10 at 09:02:53 amWhat would you do if you knew you could not fail? Fear is one of biggest barriers to creating a life aligned with who you are and the vision to which you aspire. Renowned coach, radio host, and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life Lauren Mackler will help you uncover the roots of the fears that keep you stuck, and practical tools for moving through your fears to bring your personal and professional goals to reality.
April 10, 2010
Boston Center for Adult Education
122 Arlington Street
Boston, MA 02116
617.267.4430
Click here for more information.
Lauren’s Interview in Philadelphia Daily News
Posted by Lauren - 02/05/10 at 08:02:29 amRead this article on Philadelphia Daily News.
When not to go down the aisle
By Jenice Armstrong
ELIZABETH and John Edwards are splitsville, while former aide Andrew Young and his wife are out promoting their new book about their dealings with the former presidential candidate.
Tiger Woods’ wife, Elin Nordegren, may not be completely finished with her scandal-scarred marriage, despite all of Woods’ philandering.
I tell myself not to feel silly way too much about this madness because there are things you can learn about life just by watching the foibles of the rich and famous.
Here’s an example of a lesson snatched straight from the pages of Jenny Sanford’s don’t-let-this-happen-to-you handbook: When your instinct warns you that you’re about to make a serious mistake in terms of your choice of a romantic partner, run. (It should be common sense, but judging from the divorce rate, it’s not.)
The soon-to-be-ex-wife of South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford got an early warning of how rocky her marriage was going to be when her soon-to-be-hubby balked over promising to be faithful during his wedding vows. That should have been clue No. 1, and Jenny Sanford should have stopped him right in his cheater-cheater tracks. But apparently she’d gotten herself all wrapped up in a white-tulle fantasy of walking down the aisle and married him anyway, making a “leap of faith” as she called it.
“It bothered me to some extent, but . . . we were very young, we were in love. I questioned it, but I got past it . . . along with other doubts that I had,” Sanford told Barbara Walters in a “20/20″ interview that airs Friday.
As you can attest, if you’ve ever sat through a wedding ceremony skeptical of the couple’s long-term prospects, Jenny Sanford’s blinders-on, “maybe-he’ll-change-after-we’re-married” response is typical. Once some people are altar-bound, get in their way and they’ll plow you over faster than you can say, “I’m only looking out for what’s best for you.”
“Very often, what people do is they tell themselves a story and they believe what they want to believe,” pointed out Lauren Mackler, author of “Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life.”
“They doubt themselves and then they start telling themselves, ‘I’ll change him.’ Or they say, ‘Once we’re married, I’ll have him. I’ve just got to get that ring on my finger… Click here to read the entire article.
© 2012 Lauren Mackler. All rights reserved. www.laurenmackler.com Site by JLOOP
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