What Does That Mean? by Eldon Taylor
What Does That Mean? Exploring Mind, Meaning and Mysteries by New York Times bestselling author Eldon Taylor is an in-depth exploration of the mind, meaning, and life’s mysteries. It’s a unique and inspiring book that not only explains many of life’s uncertainties, but provides a pathway to greater emotional healing. Order the new paperback today and receive free gifts from me and other thought leaders! Click here to order.
Each January, millions of people resolve to change themselves, their careers, or their relationships. In fact, many of the resolutions they make are identical to the ones they made the previous year! Whether your goal is to make more friends, land a new job, or treat yourself with greater compassion, a critical key to achieving success lies in your ability to activate your potential to create the results you seek.
In my work, I often talk about the power of our life conditioning—the environment in which we were raised, and the role modeling and experiences to which we were exposed while growing up. In response to our life conditioning—and by about the age of seven—we internalize a set of core beliefs about ourselves and the world that embed within our subconscious. Although most people aren’t even aware of them, these core beliefs shape who we become, how we behave, and the lives we live. But while those beliefs and behaviors helped us to function within our families growing up, they often keep a lid on our potential and keep us from achieving what we want as adults.
To achieve your New Year Resolutions—or any other goals you set for yourself—it’s critical to unearth your own limiting beliefs and the self-defeating behaviors that can sabotage your success. Below are two examples of how patterns learned in childhood impact our adult lives:
I’m Not Good Enough
If you were raised in a family where you were frequently criticized, there’s a good chance that one of your core limiting beliefs is: I’m not good enough. In response, you may have adopted the habitual behavior of always flying under the radar and keeping quiet to protect yourself. As an adult, you may withhold your real feelings and needs from your partner, allow others to treat you poorly, or stay in an unsatisfying job out of fear of failure.
I Have No Control
If you tend to be argumentative or overly controlling, the limiting belief: I am powerless and have no control may be at play. You may have had a dominating parent, or gone through a painful event that was beyond your control such as loss of a loved one or a parental divorce. This pattern not only produces unwelcome reactions in others, but it can wreak havoc in people’s lives. Controllers’ energy is often consumed by conflict, and they can have difficulty keeping jobs or maintaining harmonious relationships with others.
To reclaim your potential and develop the inner resources needed to realize your goals, start by being aware of your self-sabotaging patterns. Invoke your inner observer by noticing how you behave on autopilot. Then, without judging yourself, start to unearth the core beliefs that are driving those behaviors. Once you’ve identified your self-defeating patterns, the next step is to replace them with new, self-supporting beliefs and behaviors. With time, perseverance, and patience, the new patterns of thought and behavior will take hold, and give you the inner support you need to pursue and achieve your goals.
To watch Lauren’s video about the critcal factors for success, click here!
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© 2011 Lauren Mackler
Lauren Mackler is a world-renowned coach, host of the LIFE KEYS radio show, and author of the international bestseller, Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. www.laurenmackler.com
Flash Foresight by Daniel Burrus
Flash Foresight: How to See the Invisible and Do the Impossible shows you how to re-invent your business because if you don’t, someone else will! International bestselling author, Daniel Burrus, has been predicting trends for more than 25 years—and has been right! Order the book today and receive free gifts from me and many other leading visionaries! Click here to order.
10 pieces of advice your boss won’t tell you!
By Woman’s Day
Follow her lead.
If you’re not sure whether your boss prefers to communicate in a meeting or via email or phone, ask, suggests career and executive coach Lauren Mackler. Also ask what she wants to be consulted on and what she prefers you handle on your own. And take cues from her personality, says Mackler: If your boss is introverted, don’t keep pushing for face-to-face time.
Toot your own horn.
Your boss can’t possibly keep tabs on what every employee is doing every day—it’s up to you to let him know! “When you wrap up a project, send a congratulatory email to your team and CC your boss,” suggests Mackler. You might also send him a monthly overview of the projects you’ve completed and other accomplishments, and have these month-to-month emails on hand at your annual performance review. And speaking of performance reviews…click here to read the entire article.
Love for No Reason by Marci Shimhoff
Bestselling author Marci Shimhoff’s wonderful new book, Love For No Reason: 7 Steps To Creating A Life of Unconditional Love, provides practical tools for experiencing brilliant, warmth-filled love within yourself, sensing it in the world around you, and sharing that love more fully with others. Order the book today and receive free gifts from me and many others! Click here to order.
Fried by Joan Borysenko, Ph.D.
In this breakthrough work, Fried: Why You Burn Out and How to Revive, my friend and colleague Dr. Joan Borysenko straddles psychology, biology, and spirituality in a groundbreaking approach to burnout. Joan’s deeply human (and often amusing) personal account of burnout and recovery, and the rich wisdom of people who have gone from fried to revived, make this powerful book a must-read for our times. Order today and receive free gifts from me and many others! Click here to order.
Lauren Mackler has put her heart and soul into Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, a Hay House publication that walks readers through the importance of finding completion within oneself. She believes that first one must be whole because connecting with others.
She shares her own life story and experience as a prelude and support to the exercise and the guidelines she shares to help readers achieve wholeness.
Chapters like “Uncovering Your Unconditioned Self” talk about how you are born full of all emotions and free to express them. Growing up in a family unit starts affecting how you feel about your emotions and which you start expressing and most particularly repressing. Unprogramming yourselves from this is a very challenging thing to be but can have immense rewards for through this effort you can discover what your true preferences are and then make decisions that are best for you, not what other people may think is best for you.
Mackler continues this process through her “Living Deliberately Versus by Default” chapter where she suggests:
- Sending loving messages to yourself
- Taking good care of yourself
- Do nice things for yourself
- Set boundaries with other people
- Become your own advocate
- Believe in yourself
- Be compassionate
She culminates these suggestions with her chapter “Bringing Your Vision to Life,” where she has created exercises to facilitate and expedite a reader’s achievement of the goals of the book. Exercise One identifies the most important attributes of your ideal life, Exercise Two teaches you how to write a Life Vision statement, Exercise Three identifies barriers you may face, Exercise Four helps you narrow an action plan to three specific goals, Exercise Five helps you develop a set of action steps to help you achieve those goals and Exercise Six facilitates the creation of a new life structure.
There is a lot of depth and immense soul in Solemate, and if you are able to read through the over 300 pages of text, you will emerge much more confident and happier about yourself. The exercises to are useful, but definitely involve work and action on your part. This is not the passive, lazy guide to loving yourself. That being said, if you choose to walk through Mackler’s program, you will likely find yourself on the heels of a successful appreciation of yourself and a mastery of the Art of Aloneness. The perfect place to be if you want to fall in love.
T. U. Dawood is a freelance journalist. Check out her self-optimization website Preview Your Life.
The Worry Solution by Marty Rossman, M.D.
From one of America’s leading experts in mind-body medicine, The Worry Solution is one of the best books on worry and stress to appear in years. Dr. Marty Rossman teaches you how to separate productive worry from futile worry, and turn unnecessary stress and anxiety into confidence and joy. Order today and receive free gifts from me and many other leading thought leaders! To order, click here.
The Soulmate Secret by Arielle Ford
Author Arielle Ford used the techniques in The Soulmate Secret to meet her husband at age forty-four, to whom she’s been happily married for over ten years. With practical tools and techniques, The Soulmate Secret will help you prepare your home, body, mind, and spirit for the loving partnership to which you aspire. To order, click here.