9/24/11 Boston, MA
10/14/11 Los Angeles, CA
World-renowned coach and bestselling author of Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, Lauren Mackler, presents her groundbreaking roadmap to help you achieve mastery of your own life, and greater wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship. For info and registration, click here.
I was interviewed 3/29/11 on the Dr. Molly Barrow Radio Show about how to live deliberately and become the person you were born to be.
To hear or download the episode, click here.
Lauren Mackler has put her heart and soul into Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life, a Hay House publication that walks readers through the importance of finding completion within oneself. She believes that first one must be whole because connecting with others.
She shares her own life story and experience as a prelude and support to the exercise and the guidelines she shares to help readers achieve wholeness.
Chapters like “Uncovering Your Unconditioned Self” talk about how you are born full of all emotions and free to express them. Growing up in a family unit starts affecting how you feel about your emotions and which you start expressing and most particularly repressing. Unprogramming yourselves from this is a very challenging thing to be but can have immense rewards for through this effort you can discover what your true preferences are and then make decisions that are best for you, not what other people may think is best for you.
Mackler continues this process through her “Living Deliberately Versus by Default” chapter where she suggests:
- Sending loving messages to yourself
- Taking good care of yourself
- Do nice things for yourself
- Set boundaries with other people
- Become your own advocate
- Believe in yourself
- Be compassionate
She culminates these suggestions with her chapter “Bringing Your Vision to Life,” where she has created exercises to facilitate and expedite a reader’s achievement of the goals of the book. Exercise One identifies the most important attributes of your ideal life, Exercise Two teaches you how to write a Life Vision statement, Exercise Three identifies barriers you may face, Exercise Four helps you narrow an action plan to three specific goals, Exercise Five helps you develop a set of action steps to help you achieve those goals and Exercise Six facilitates the creation of a new life structure.
There is a lot of depth and immense soul in Solemate, and if you are able to read through the over 300 pages of text, you will emerge much more confident and happier about yourself. The exercises to are useful, but definitely involve work and action on your part. This is not the passive, lazy guide to loving yourself. That being said, if you choose to walk through Mackler’s program, you will likely find yourself on the heels of a successful appreciation of yourself and a mastery of the Art of Aloneness. The perfect place to be if you want to fall in love.
T. U. Dawood is a freelance journalist. Check out her self-optimization website Preview Your Life.
October 15-17, 2010
Omega, Rhinebeck, NY
November 26-28, 2010
Kripalu, Lenox, MA
Many people spend years waiting for a “soul mate” to complete them. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. This life-changing workshop lifts the social stigma of aloneness and provides a groundbreaking roadmap for gaining mastery of your own life so you can achieve a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship.
In this powerful weekend with Lauren Mackler, you will learn how to:
Uncover the hidden roots of self-sabotaging behaviors
Become whole and complete on your own
Build a loving, respectful, and caring relationship with yourself
Develop a strong inner and outer support system
Clarify your life vision and strategies to achieve it
Rather than expecting someone else to complete you, Lauren will show you how to become the partner you seek—your own cherished solemate. This workshop is for people who are single, divorced, or seeking greater independence within their partnership.
Many people long for an ideal partner, a “soul mate” to make them feel complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. This program is about mastering the art of aloneness, but it’s not about being alone. With a groundbreaking road map to help you achieve mastery of your own life, you can experience a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship.
Based on Lauren Mackler’s Solemate book, this weekend is about becoming the person you were born to be and shedding old beliefs and behaviors that limit your ability to realize your greatest potential. Topics include
Uncovering your conditioned and authentic self
Managing fear so it doesn’t manage you
Living deliberately versus by default
Reclaiming your innate wholeness
Becoming the partner you seek
Building an inner and outer support system
Creating and achieving your life vision
October 15-17, 2010
Join me for the 8/12 Solemate Teleseminar, Building a Strong Inner Support System, 7-8:30pm ET, 4-5:30pm PT with panelists Dr. Joan Borysenko and Caroline Sutherland! To register click here.
Many people spend years waiting for a soul mate to make them complete. Others settle for unfulfilling relationships out of fear of being alone. Renowned coach, radio host, and bestselling author of “Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life” Lauren Mackler will present her groundbreaking roadmap to help you achieve mastery of your own life, so you can experience a sense of wholeness and well-being on your own or in a relationship. Based upon Lauren’s “Solemate” book, this presentation is about treating yourself well, shedding your self-defeating patterns, and becoming the person you were born to be.
Although being single is more accepted than it was 30 years ago, there’s still a mindset that if you don’t have a mate, there must be something wrong with you. Many people still believe that marriage is the ideal lifestyle, and we’re barraged by music and movies espousing romantic love as the answer. It’s difficult to even imagine a movie that ends with the star living contently alone instead of living happily-ever-after with a mate. The classic line in the film Jerry Maguire—“You complete me”—reinforces what many singles believe: If I can find a mate, I’ll be happy. And if I can’t, I’m in trouble.
If you’re alone and believe that “there must be something wrong with me” it will have an enormous impact on your life. You may actually be setting yourself up for rejection because other people are less likely to be drawn to someone lacking self-confidence. And feelings of low self-worth may cause you to withdraw from the very people and activities that can enrich your life. Loneliness then becomes a self-perpetuating and self-fulfilling prophecy.
If you want to live a happier life alone, you have to believe that you can. Instead of viewing aloneness as a source of loneliness and pain, think of it as one of freedom and opportunity. To reframe negative perceptions, write down the challenges of your aloneness. Your list might include things like: “I make others’ needs more important than my own,” or “I feel insecure around people I don’t know.” Identify whatever holds you back from reaching your fullest potential. Now next to each challenge, write down the opportunity it presents. Based on my examples, these might include, “Learn how to set healthy boundaries with people” and “Develop greater self-confidence around people.”
Next, start turning those opportunities into action. Here’s an example: Let’s say you have a free Saturday. You can look at it from two perspectives. You can stay home feeling sorry for yourself because you have nothing to do. Or you can look at it differently: “I have a free day to do anything I want. I can go to the gym, call a friend and go to the movies, work in my garden, or read a great novel.” Then do something that something that truly engages you.
As you take steps toward mastering aloneness, recognize that you’ll slip up. Imagine how a smoker quits smoking. He throws away that first pack of cigarettes. Then he might weaken and buy another pack, then just smoke a few cigarettes, then give it up for another few weeks, then start up again. And one day, he’s just done with it. Like quitting smoking, mastering aloneness is about changing habitual patterns of thought and behavior. Be gentle with yourself. When you slip up, think of it as getting more information about what doesn’t work for you. Committing to mastering the art of aloneness means realizing that you will slip up; treating yourself with compassion when you do, and then moving forward in becoming the person you were born to be. To view Lauren’s video interview, A New View of Aloneness, click here.
© 2010 Lauren Mackler
The Solemate Reading Group Tool Kit is designed to be used in tandem with the bestselling book Solemate: Master the Art of Aloneness & Transform Your Life. The Tool Kit contains information, tips, and materials for forming and leading a Solemate Reading Group. Solemate Reading Groups are a wonderful way to provide people with a supportive setting in which they can share their experience of the mastering the art of aloneness process in a group environment; benefit from others’ experiences and insights; and enjoy a supportive community of like-minded people committed to mastering the art of aloneness and to achieving the life vision to which they aspire. To order your copy click here.
Listen to my interview with Janet Powers on Diva Tool Box.
About Janet Powers:
“Across the Kitchen Table with Janet Powers” shares practical advice women need to succeed. She highlight guests from across the globe who inspire, educate and empower people with the information they need to succeed!